A Thanksgiving Grace Dear Heavenly Father/Lord/Osiris Master of the Underworld We are gathered here today loudmouth uncles and cuckolded wives (Sorry Bernice!) ratty children who we adore when they're at day care and bitter brooding teens who are probably stoned off their right now Alcoholics all to celebrate this union of blood ('cept for Danny- the bastard boy) in hopes that none will be shed before the pies are brought out. We ask you most divine Creator to look down on this gathering and not smote a certain someone who shall remain nameless for not paying back the loan I gave him. Five Years Ago. and also we ask that you find it in your Will to show us the way to drive home with a blood alcohol level that is off the scale for as a wise man once said, "He who stays the night with the relatives is doomed to hear a years worth of gossip over Bloody Mary's come morning" We ask for this and for Margot to stop taking those damn pictures when I'm talking in your name Till we do this again next year. Amen Now- I do this all in jest. Thanksgiving is actually my favorite holiday and my family is uber-cool. Rockstars all of them. And not to appear like a total misanthrope: Things I am Thankful For (the short list) - My Mom and my Dad. Our relationship has never been better and they have become a real source of strength for me. -The opportunity to return to school. -My friends: especially Jill, Chris, Kevin, Ray, Jar Jar and of course, The Mexican. -My brother. Like buttah he is. Only in a non-greasy, non-dairy way. -The people who make Silk, the soymilk. I can enjoy something that approximates the taste of milk now without experiencing intestinal pain. -My girlfriend, Ms. Janet Jackson. -I'm even thankful for Andy Hicks, who has been such a good sport. -My blogger friends, who encourage me to write and inspire me to write better. -My laundry lady. She's always so happy when I bring my laundry to be washed. -Nina Simone for singing "Oooh Child...Things are Gonna Get Easier" -New York City for building me up and tearing me down and building me up again. It's refreshing and maddening all at once. -The Oompah Loompah's- for bringing me joy as a child and for their endless jihad against bratty children -My Nana, who really is something else. We're just not sure entirely what that is. -And of course, you Faithful Reader. More than you'll ever know.

posted by Japhy at 11/27/2002 09:00:00 PM || #