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japhyjunket |
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THE
SIDEBAR |
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8.07.2003
A Call to Arms
Dear Friends,
I'd like to take this opportunity today to officially announce my candidacy for Governor of California. While rumours have been rampant over the past few weeks, it brings me great delight to say to you, and to the people of the Sunshine State (no wait, that's Florida...) um, the state with the bear on its flag, that I intend to throw my hat into the gubernatorial ring.
Some of my opponents have questioned what qualifications I have to run for such an esteemed office. To them, I say this, " I too, like tacos, can speak in funny accents and can point out California on a map of California- as long as I have advisors nearby to help me out." I will run on a platform of advocating rights for mariachi bands and the establishment of the Walt Disney Corporation as the official replacement of the state legislature. I will also demand gifts to appease my savage will, and if they do not please me, I will eat you.
In conclusion, I'd just like to say that I look forward to running against all my opponents and hope that you too, will join us and run for Governor of California.
Viva la Revolucion!
-Japhy
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