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japhyjunket |
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8.11.2003
Tiresias Speaks:
Blind Items from a He-She Know-It-All
Greetings Gossip Hounds,
I've been working on a new blog for a while that will prove that the concepts of "Freedom" and "Liberty" are utterly meaningless and must be struck from the lexicon at once if we are to save democracy. It's a bit involved, and seeing as how we're in the dog days of August, when brains turn to fried eggs and concentration only musters its strength to order a Tanq and T, I thought that rather than try to repeal 250 years of democracy, I'd hold off for a bit. Instead I'll engage in some good ole' fashioned blind-item rumourmongering. With out further ado:
What Broadway "Boy Wonder" does double duty down in the Bowery showing off his fuzzy puppet to anyone who knows that the number of the day is five?
What Hollywood harthrob dujour has been cultivating a "silent and brooding" attitude with interviewers because his agent does it want it to slip out that this rising star started out as a poolboy for a big time producer?
What neurotic Must-Read gossip columnist still has his octagenarian mother do his dishes- hates her for it and only wants help so he won't feel bad when she dies?
What out of this world pop star tells the fellows that he likes it the way Andrew Sullivan likes it?
What former MePa denizen is having so much trouble getting his sex up, that he's resorted to writing emails to everyone he's ever known to get someone to help him out?
What reader of gossip-mongering blogs is doomed to sunburns, floods, poor leaders and the occasional rape at the hands (er..wings) of a swan? (hint: Look in the mirror, honey-child)
Don't believe me? I'm Tiresias. Don't fuck with me or you're gonna wind up poking your eyes out.
Off the record, on the QT, and very HUSH HUSH
- Tiresias
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