Japhy Go Boom Plus, Larry Kramer Gets His Ass Kicked, My Andrew Sullivan Connection, I Write a Novel and The Dem Ticket for '08 One of the great things about blogging is that you're free to write about whatever you want, whenever you want to. Later this week, I'm going to put up a guide to leaving the country, but first let me tell you about my awfully fun brush with death. Fascicle is Not a Pasta So I'm riding my bike home from the office on Saturday (yes, I'm a workaholic- yes, I have no life) and I'm riding past this Saturn SUV when the driver door opens and slams into me. Wheeeee! I'm turning all sorts of directions and then am on the ground, my pocket change spilling all over the street. Boo! Next thing I know, I'm being picked up by the driver of the car, a big El Salvadoran man who seemed to know what he was doing, so I follow along. We notice that I'm hobbling on one leg. I pull up my jeans leg and lo and behold, there's my muscle. No, not the outside part- but ya' know, the soft chewy center on the inside. Weeee! I'm all light-headed. I call my friend John and ask him what hospital I should go to and he offers to take me. The El Salvadoran holds my bleeding leg and tells me it's not bleeding too bad- that back home he's seen far worse from gunfights, but that it is kind of weird you can see my muscle underneath. Jon show up, I hobble into his truck and we're on our way. First stop was the hospital downtown, which was, what I remember of it- scary. Nobody was there and by this time I'm feeling the wooziness of shock. "Take me to where the rich people go", I mutter to John and off we go to Cedars-Sinai, whose ER has its own waterfall. Much better. An hour or so later, me and my gimp leg are in a private room. The doctor comes by and unwraps the gauze a nurse had put on it. "Oh wow, how did you do that?", is not the first thing you want a doctor to say to you, but I tell him that I think it was my bike chain that cut me and he explains how that's impossible. "See, look at this laceration. It's like it got hit with a really blunt object, like the back of an axe, or in your case, probably the car door. Your skin just burst open like a balloon and then just kept ripping." Why do doctors always sound so thrilled when they get to explain to you why it is that you're in pain? He continued "And all that stuff you can see? Those are fascicle. Like, when you eat a piece of meat, you know how there's sometimes that thin layer of fat over it? That's it." Coooool. So then I waited some more. Even at rich people's hospitals you wait a lot. John came back after grabbing some food and we watched The Women on the TV mounted to Craftmatic Adjustable Examination Table. In fact, I really lucked out with the bed/chair thingie. They had accidentally stuck me in the OB/GYN room and so was in the lap of luxury, at least for an ER. Any rate- long story made short: They cleaned my muscle out and I was the hit of the ER. Nurses kept coming by and looking at my leg and asking me excitedly, as if my giant gash were a particularly rare owl or something, "Have you seen this?" To which I responded, "Oh, yes, we're old friends." Finally they got around to sewing the damn thing up and John and I watched Joan Crawford get her comeuppance on the TV. Because of muscle damage they put me in a partial cast and was soon on my merry way. Today, after hearing of my plight, ABV came by my hotel and brought over my favorites: Pomegranate juice and Phish Food. Between his kind act, John's kind act and James Spader, I think I have reason to go on living. Still, I deserve lots of sympathy- I'm told that if I ever had any hopes of being a leg model, those days are over, but the upside is that I'll have a huge scar, which is awesome. In lieu of flowers, please send escorts. The Night Larry Kramer Got His Ass Served to Him On a Platter My friend Jared relayed to me how he chewed out Larry Kramer at a JCM hosted Q&A at Cooper Union. Here are the highlights, which I hope Jared won't mind me sharing, seeing as how he did this in front of a packed house of gays:

"[Larry Kramer] generalized gay people and said that he thinks gay people are better, smarter, more aware, etc etc.....he said it at least five times in his speech...I said that if you're going to generalize gay people, I'll put it this way...We're self-loathing self-absorbed hedonists...We only are politically involved when it comes to things that affect US (civil unions, adoption, etc)...That we're in denial about the fact that we were merely pawns for Karl Rove in this election.....That its completely selfish and counter-productive for us to keep fighting for "gay marriage" when there's a million more issues that are more important, like human rights, the environment, Africa, corporate ownership of everything, media control.... That its not JUST gay people who have HIV and use crystal meth...That HIV is the number one killer of young African-American females...That we cant keep separating ourselves and fighting for things we DON'T NEED. That we need to look outside of the fucking gay bubble.... I said "What's going to happen once we do get civil unions? What happened after black people were integrated into our schools?"They still got called niggers... And we'll still be called faggots. Get over it and fight for more important things." The audience, according to Jared responded with huge applause.

Pundits Don't Drive

While I've never met the man, it seems Andrew Sullivan and I are on a collision course of our own. While my first knowledge of Sullivan came from Michaelangelo Signoreli's posting a personals ad of Sullivan's that pointed out his preference for barebacking, since he has turned against Bush I find myself reading his excellent blog more and more. According to the site, he was in L.A. this weekend and I missed his appearance at the Abbey, but really who cares? What excites me is that he drops this little tidbit:

"I usually feel at a loss in L.A. because I don't know how to drive a car." (emphasis added)

As a 25 year old who doesn't drive and whose leg got mangled in the name of alternative transportation, it's nice to know that I'm not alone. Perhaps Andrew and I can team up to start our own PAC: Gay Bloggers Who Don't Drive.

Young Hemingway- only without the bulls, the war and the repressed homosexuality...Well, okay- without the bulls.

So, I'm working on doing National Novel Writing Month's 50,000 word challenge. I'm way behind at this point, but I'm determined to make it. Don't expect too much posting here over the next few weeks, since even for me, 50k is a lot. Check out my NanoWriMo profile through ought the month by clicking the icon on the sidebar. It will show you how far along I am and I'll keep changing the excerpts. The idea of the contest is not to write well, but write a lot, so I'm not editing anything, which is a freeing experience in itself.

A Ticket For '08

Finally, I have this conspiracy theory that all the networks are bringing up the idea of Hillary in '08, just so that we can hear the public outcry now, realize that nominating Hillary is political suicide (people hate her, hell- I kind of hate her and I voted for her) and move on. My personal choice for an '08 ticket at this point: Barack Obama/ Bill Richardson.

Both are brilliant, both are minorities (Republicans don't know what to do with unpasty people) and both are really pretty much all the Dems have got right now. Richardson, in particular, is really an underdeveloped resource for the DNC. A former UN ambassador, former Secretary of Energy and four-time Nobel Prize nominee who just happens to be Hispanic and from the swing state of New Mexico, you'd think you would have heard of him earlier- say...As Kerry's running mate? Whatever. Stupid Democrats.

Send escorts!

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posted by Japhy at 11/08/2004 01:10:00 AM || #

All My Friends Are Famous Some Just Make Movies Congratulations to my pal John Krokidas for landing a picture deal to direct a feature version of his short film Slo-Mo. If it's anything like the original, expect it to be a romantic comedy with a slightly sardonic edge, a great soundtrack and a turtle. While Gawker already covered this, the often underrated About.com reveals that Single Cell, which is producing the movie, was where John got his start as, according to producer Sandy Stern, "the world's worst intern." For all you self-professed Krokidiacs out there, here's some trivia: He loves Toffuti Cuties.

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posted by Japhy at 11/06/2004 08:40:00 PM || #

DISASTER The Culture War Begins At a friend's request I found myself at the Human Rights Campaign Election Party last night in West Hollywood. If there was a more liberal place to be standing on November 2nd, I don't know where it is. As the night wore on and the mood shifted to quiet talk of how fucked this country is, it became clear that I was standing in the crater of a social conservative a-bomb which had just destroyed the Democratic Party. I don't use that phrase lighty. The Democratic Party is gone. Toast. Finis. George W. Bush's neo-con evangelical movement has taken control of the country and in fact, the results point out that they really had been in control of the country all along. Let's not blame the Dem's too much. They did a remarkable job of energizing their base, moving to the center, creating grassroots orginizations and presenting an articulate vision for the country espoused by a candidate who- yes, is a liberal Senator from Massachusettes, but who really was the best they had. The party managed to unify progressives and liberal moderates, get minorities and the youth to vote in numbers they had not done so before, but at the end of the day, more people share George W. Bush's vision for America than John Kerry's. The Dem's didn't fuck it up, they JUST LOST. That is why this is a disaster. Forget for a moment the now inevitable overturning of Roe v. Wade, the prospect of unceassing bloody war and foriegn hatred. Dismiss the debt ceiling and our flailing economy. This is just the frosting on the NeoCon cake. What is truly frightening is that Bush and his cadre have gauranteed, short of a Bill Clinton rising up from some Southern backwater, thirty, perhaps fourty years of evangelical control of the government. Here's how: The Democratic Party will now fracture in two. One side will continue the old strategy of moderation from the center. The exit polls indicate that more than the war or the economy (which were liabilities for Bush after all), the deciding factor for voters are 'moral issues.' Expect the centirst dems to drop these issues like hot potatoes. Of course the biggest potato is gay rights and marriage. Though the Dems will never say it, expect them to privately blame gays and lesbians for costing them the election. Don't expect to hear them supporting any gay legislation for the next decade or so. The other splinter is the Progressive Movement. They wanted Dean, but played along with centrists because they wanted to see Bush go down so badly. This will never happen again. If Nader hasn't fully morphed into looking like the Evil Emporer by 2008, he should run again; he'll get huge numbers. Progressives are- oh who am I kidding, I am a Progressive. We're really bitter and dissapointed and the members who actually do vote will not be voting for a Democrat any time soon, especially since the Democrats will be morphing into what the Republican Party used to be. The country has shifted radically to the right and has done so by being scared into believing that it has been shifting left. I'm writing off the Democrats. I had registered Dem last October, but seriously, screw them. Hear that? Screw you. Here's why: You're an elitist party. My parents grew up poor. My first home was a trailer. Both of my parents are Republicans and part of the reason they are, I think, is because the Dems run their party like an Upper West Side cocktail soiree. How many times last night did I hear derision cast at the South and Midwest (which went totally for Bush) for being full of "ignorant" or "uneducated morons?" Guess what? Voters are unlikley to vote for a party that treats them like they are backwater hicks. They aren't. Get that through your skull, Democrats. Every major socially progressive movement has come from the lower class (the Civil Rights Movement, The Progressive Movement in the 30's, FDR's New Deal). Yes, you have lower class interest at heart. Yes, you deeply care about the plight of the poor, but get your hands dirty. Memo to John Kerry: Wearing an L.L. Bean jacket now and then does not constiute "getting your hands dirty." More to come.

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posted by Japhy at 11/03/2004 01:37:00 PM || #

"The dogmas of the quiet past, are inadequate to the stormy present. The occasion is piled high with difficulty, and we must rise -- with the occasion. As our case is new, so we must think anew, and act anew. We must disenthrall ourselves, and then we shall save our country. Fellow-citizens, we cannot escape history. We ... will be remembered in spite of ourselves.... We shall nobly save, or meanly lose, the last best hope of earth... The way is plain, peaceful, generous, just -- a way which, if followed, the world will forever applaud, and God must forever bless." - Abraham Lincoln VOTE.

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posted by Japhy at 11/01/2004 06:44:00 PM || #

Update: Hurray for me! Search for "japhy" on Google, and I am the first entry listed. All other Japhy's: bow down before me! No longer am I second fiddle to "japhy's perl suppository!" I'd link to them, but it might tip the balance back in their favor. So, as you may have noticed- no redesign as of yet. Between putting out my first issue of the magazine I'm editing (more info on that later), editing and publishing a 200+ page web guide (much thanks goes to the excitable and irrepressible Jason Lee for erm...blorg), writing a spec script and looking for a place to live in mostly sunny L.A., the Modern Romantic just hasn't been on my mind. Whenever I find a spare moment, I'm checking electoral-vote.com. Also, because I promised to do a piece on it, I am a participant in National Novel Writing Month, which promises to be fun, exciting and 50,000 words. Truly, I have great plans for the Modern Romantic, but they will have to wait...I'd say till the beginning of next year. Small changes will be implemented in the next few months, however. Right now, we're deciding (yes, we- the new site will have multiple contributors) on whether Blogger can do everything we want to be able to do on the site or if we need to switch to new software. We'll be experimenting with different things over the next month or so. One of them is ads. I hope you won't blame me too much for selling out, but I aim to keep them fairly unintrusive. I hope to give you all some form of update as to the wacky insanity that is Japhy in L.A, but the wckiness is still ongoing. The thirty million dollar question is, naturally: Will it ever stop? -J

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posted by Japhy at 11/01/2004 02:19:00 AM || #