"Q: Why is the United States so certain that Iraq has weapons of mass destruction? A: Because we saved the receipts!" --Liz Smith

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posted by Japhy at 2/24/2003 08:28:00 AM || #

Congratulations Matthew! Last night, I attended the opening reception for "Show 2" at NYU. I would love to review the works shown, since this was a really strong show with quite a few interesting pieces, but I know about half of the people in the show, so there's really no way I can be unbiased. Of course, my main reason there was to celebrate Matthew B's first New York Show. Here he is, being loved and adored. I've seen his Untitled Street Portraits 2001-2002 for almost a year now, but seeing them up on the wall and displayed was pretty amazing. It's been really fun watching these photos come together, from the initial idea till now. Go see them and the rest of the group show in the Gulf & Western Gallery (lobby) and eighth floor galleries of 721 Broadway from February 20 - March 15.

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posted by Japhy at 2/21/2003 09:31:00 AM || #

Be a Pimp! Oh sure- unemployment in New York remains a real problem. We're all going to end up on food stamps and we're spending our free cash on duct tape. What's a New Yorker to do? Why, turn to crime, of course. Though if it's a crime to offer the sweet sweet services of my ho's to fine gentlemen, then in my opinion, the terrorists have already won. Introducing another way to waste your time on the web: Bordello Battles. A multiplayer game along the lines of "Drug Wars", Bordello lets you take on the role of a pimp. Sell your girls, keep them clean with condoms, improve your house and give that flat chested dame a boob job while racking up cash and attacking the competition. Best of all, there's gangs to join. Mine is called "The Bitch Slappers" and if you want to join, just enter that name in the Join Gang section. The tag is TBS, btw. To boot, all this nasty ho-slappin' fun is free! Let's see which Japhyjunket reader can make the most coins by putting out some fine honeyliscious booty! Those who find an entertainment game who's entire premise is the exploitation of women, revolting and sexist, need not apply. Personally, I hope they add man-whore's soon to even the playa's field. Click here to sign up.

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posted by Japhy at 2/19/2003 02:08:00 PM || #

Japhydex- Your Personal Web Portal I will be updating a little less frequently in the next few weeks as I get Japhygrant.com up to its new and expanded form. In the meantime, check out the annotated Japhydex- essentially a listing of sites that I like and are relevant. Happy surfing! Web Design Toolbox Jeffrey Zeldman Presents - Blog with tons of useful information on all things web designish. Friday Five - Five new questions to answer on your blog each Friday. Save yourself from coming up with new content. Computer Arts Online - UK-based site with loads of information and tutorials for web, digital imaging and animation. Webmonkey - Tutorials and guides to making your site better than mine. CNet - The hardware and software review site. The Media BBC - Not just Fawlty Towers. China Daily - English news from China. Jerusalem Post - Biased MidEast News. The Atlantic - Lefty in-depth analysis. Japan Times - English news with a tendency towards weird humour. New York Times - The Grey Lady of Journalism. The New Yorker - Oh so very urbane. Arts & Letters Daily - Arts news and reviews from world-wide sources all in one place. The Moscow Times - English news from democratic Muscovy. Alternative Press Blogcritics - Snooty group of bloggers throw in their two cents on the latest music, books and video. NYC IndyMedia Center- Community based participatory news. Salon - THE independent news site. Crappy new subscription policy. The Village Voice - 10 pages of hard hitting journalism, 30 pages of trendy fluff and 100 pages of sex ads. On the Rail - News for foodies. The Whole Earth Magazine - Crunchie granola lovin'. Musicbox The Modern Age- photos, concert reviews and coverage of NYC's indie rock scene. Nominated for a Bloggie! The Art of The Mix - A site dedicated to dedicated mix tape and cd enthusiasts. Make your own concept albulm! The Posse Sushiporn Daniel-san Flying Vicar Musings So Much Modern Time The Modern Age Daryl Lang Hottest Chick Ever Matthew Barela Peter Rosa Subversive penguin and the arizona asphault Kristin Schubert Who I Read Andrew Sullivan - Everyone loves a histrionic gay conservative. Sir Ian McKellen - But not as much as they love Gandalf. Mark Simpson - Coined the term "metrosexual". Little. Yellow. Different. -I promise there will be some straight people on this list. Honest. Neil Gaiman - Creator of The Sandman and all around mythopoetic expert. Also married. To a woman. See! How to Be Hip - While not answering the question, leads by example. Katherine Hall - Katie linked to me, I don't why, but her blog is pretty cool. Trabaca - An NYU student in Paris. Greg.org - About making movies, making art- great site for filmmakers. Zaccan's Xanga Site - Live from Japan- a friend of Jill. NYU Web Log Portal - Doesn't seem to be updated, but a good smattering of NYU student blogs to be found. Agent #1 - Pretty, witty and yeah, that other thing too. Baby Sue- They make them meaner in New Orleans. Adnan.org - Great design, mediocre content. The Computer Vet - Promises not to neuter your hard drive. Delicate Barbican - The wildly personal blog I would never write. The Darkroom RetouchPRO - Offers photos to retouch and the community reviews them. Not professional, but fun to try. The C Lab - Great photo lab, but kind of pricey. SoWear - Gallery and resource site for fashion photographers. Photojunkie - Photography blog with news and information for the curious photographer. Photography Tips - Don't you love it when the domain name says it all? Holga Central - Lots of information on the popular twenty dollar plastic medium format camera. Photo District News - Profiles and contests on the cutting edge of photography. For Writers and Readers One Word- You'll see a word. You have sixty seconds to write about it. Read what everyone else wrote. All Consuming - What the web is reading. Create your own reading lists. Good Use - NYC-based literary journal. Writer's Market - Online version of the industry standard for seeking out editors and publishers. For pay. Project Guttenberg - The Web's Library. Hollywoodland Slayage- The Online International Journal of Buffy Studies. Drew's Script-O-Rama - Want to read the shooting script for Serpico? Screenplays online. Screenwriter's Utopia - Doesn't quite live up to its name, but a great resource for script news. Writer's Guild of America, East - Screenwriter's union. Register your scripts here before sending them out. Visual Arts Artcyclopedia - Search all museum websites at once for info on artwork and artists. ArtMuseum.net - Online home for many virtual exhibitions staged by major art institutions. Douglas Kelly Show List - List of gallery openings in New York City. Gallery Guide - Just that. Info on shows and galleries in the U.S. Art Forum - Art news. If You're a New Yorker The New York City Anti-Hipster Forum - Need I say more? Mr. Hipster - The flip side of the coin. Urban Hound - All you could ever want to know to keep your sophisticated Fido pleased. My puppy is here. Domino's Quik Order - Get your crappy pizza online. Craigslist: New York - Apartments, jobs, stuff and love: Indispensable. St.John the Divine Events- Upcoming events at the world's largest cathedral. Citysearch New York - Restaurant reviews and upcoming events. NYC Government Portal - Bureaucracy in action. Flavorpill - Weekly listings of hot events in the city. Causes Inclusive Scouting - America's finest youth program is tarnishing its image through discrimination. The Black Cross Collective - Medical advice for the would-be protester. Learn what to do when pepper-sprayed. Performance The Art Party - Alan Cumming's multidisciplinary art group. Symphonyspace - Uptown venue for film, readings, dance and music. Spin Cycle - Downtown shows and nightlife.< Burning Man - Arts festival in Nevada each August. The Writer's Guild - Union for playwrights. The Playwrighting Seminars - Have used this site as a reference since my very first play. Covers all the basics and then some. Crass Consumerism J- List - Get cool shit from Japan. Home of the Hello Kitty vibrator. Deal News - Hand picked bargains. AndyCo. - The most important corporation. Ever. Derelict Clothing - Arty T's, hoodies and ties. Things I'm Currently Researching MesoAmerican Deities MesoAmerican Civilizations Guilty Pleasures Widen Your World - Dedicated to Walt Disney World attractions that are either gone or never happened. AstroJem - Johanna Ellen Corn is my preferred source for signs from the stars. Mason Morse Ranches - I want to own a ranch one day. Just like Dubya. Only on my ranch, we'll name the horses after Communists. Giddyup Trotsky! Recipe Resource - Want to know how to make lobster bisque?

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posted by Japhy at 2/18/2003 02:27:00 PM || #

japhy unplugged : at the protest police are protecting a guy with a sign saying bomb iraq

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posted by Japhy at 2/15/2003 06:12:00 PM || #

Love: Googled Happy Hallmark Day! Nothing shows love quite like a handmade gift and so to show you, Loyal Readers, my undying affection for you on this special day, I made you all your very own Japhy Valentine- made up of the most popular images that come up when you do a Google image search for "Love". I hope you like it! Now-- *blush* Will you---um? *scuffiling of feet* be well...mine?

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posted by Japhy at 2/13/2003 10:41:00 PM || #

Dude! You're getting a misdemeanor! Longtime Japhyjunket readers know that Ben Curtis and I have what you might call a history. Oh man, this news really just made my day! What news you ask? Oh- go look for yourself here. I'm too busy gloating. Actually, I kinda feel bad for Ben. I mean, arrested for buying pot on a street corner? He must be really down on his luck. I mean, c'mon- he went to NYU and doesn't know to use a delivery service? I refuse to believe that. Which can only mean that things are far worse than they seem in Dellville. Poor Ben Curtis. Poor *snicker* Ben *smirk* Curtis. Side note: Ben Curtis turned down a role on Law and Order in which he would play the victim's pot-smoking college roomate because he did not want to be "typecast". I think I need to grin again. Ah yes.

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posted by Japhy at 2/11/2003 09:44:00 AM || #

Excuses, Evil, Enmity & Emails Well folks, ya may have noticed I've been incommunicado this past week and my only excuse is that life is what happens when you're not blogging. I'd like to say I was working on my short stories or the magazine or whatever, but the truth is, I've been so busy that the only spare moments I've had have been watching Buffy re-runs. Ah, Buffy- do you know that your nemesis, The First Evil, has a blog? So- let's see--content. Whatever to write about? Well- as some of you may know, Madonna has a new video coming out in March. Titled The American Dream and directed by Jonas Akerlund, the video is an anti-war barrage that begins with couture fatigues and ends in blood, blood and more blood. Madge's new album comes out April 22nd, which means you can probably find it on Kazaa now. It seems like everyone is weighing on the whole impending war issue and honestly, I say "meh". I think when push comes to shove, Europe will grumble to please its constituencies, but then go along. I mean, what's the worse case scenario? France and Germany sit back and get to feel morally superior. There's a lot of saber-rattling from all sides, so much so that I beginning to think that this war will never happen, not that I'm all gung-ho for it to happen, but it's been over a year since we first started talking about going into Iraq and we're still waiting. I think if Bush were really a war monger dead set on fighting no matter what, we would have already attacked. Rhetoric aside, the Bush administration has done an admirable job allowing the diplomatic process to play itself out. So, until I see Wolf Blitzer live from Baghdad (Note to Don Rumsfield: I'll call it Friendly Fire too if he happens to get hit) I'm not going to sit back and speculate on a war that, while a probability, is not inevitable. I've said it before and I'll say it again- The United States is an empire now, Americans need to get used to this new reality or else face losing all of our democratic freedoms by blindly imagining that we're part of a Republic that no longer exists. I'm sure Madonna's new video will make sense of it all. Since I'm in an Andy Rooney-ish mood let me just say, "What's the deal with all those Valentine's Day emails my InBox is getting?" They've really hyped up in the past week or so- I've been told to buy candy, flowers, teddybears, sex toys, a Foreman Grill and antacid relief for my sweetie. Either that or I am admonished, "Don't have a Valentine? MEET SINGLES IN YOUR AREA!!!" over and over and over again. For the past three years, I got to view the whole Valentine's Day debacle from the relationship side of the fence and now that I'm back on the "I'm the One I Want" side, I have to admit, this holiday just sucks. Love isn't about flowers and candy and antacid (well---)- phooey!

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posted by Japhy at 2/10/2003 03:08:00 PM || #

24th Street: The Center of the Art Universe (or at least that's what they want you to believe) During the mid to late nineties, driven by increasing rents, New York's art scene quietly shuffled north and west from Soho and into the West Chelsea area. Full of the kind of large abandoned industrial buildings galleries adore, the area has been transformed into a slick white-walled Mecca for art. Nowhere is this more evident then on the stretch of 24th Street between 10th and 11th Avenue. This single block is home to twelve galleries, including spaces owned by art world titans Larry "Go-Go" Gagosian and Barbara Gladstone. Unlike tony SoHo, West Chelsea still looks industrial; the corner of 24th and 10th is home to a full service gas station for taxis and the dilapidated El runs through the whole area. Once inside the galleries, however, New Yorkers are treated to some of the most interesting art being shown in this city for many years. Here are some highlights from the 24th Street Revival: Michael Craig-Martin Eye of the Storm Jan. 16 - Feb. 15 Gagosian Gallery (site) 555 W. 24th Street #: 212/741.1111 Transforming the mammoth Gagosian space into a giant toy box in fuchsia and pink, Michael Craig-Martin's pop-inspired paintings depict common household objects in clip-art-like clarity. Extending the images onto the walls of the gallery itself, Craig-Martin invites the viewer to travel through a giant industrial fan and confront an everyday banality that is at once wondrous and toxic. Paul Ramírez Jonas The Earth Seen From Above January 18th - February 22, 2003 LFL Gallery (site) 530 West 24th Street #: 212/989.7700 A collection of works all focusing on recording and capturing the natural world, Jonas' collection of videos, fantastical solar powered instruments and Tibetan prayer flags emblazoned with the names of hurracaines on them are all fascinating, but it is his main piece "Album: 50 State Summits" that really draws you in. A massive grid of photo mounts stretch along the wall, the name of one of the 50 States Summits written on each mount. While some have been filled in and the date marked, most remain untouched, awaiting future climbs. The photos that are there consist of the artist facing away from the camera, holding aloft a sign that reads "Open". While the photo of Colorado's highest peak is indeed impressive, it is atop the highest summit of Florida- a parking lot where the land stretches out in endless flatness, that Jonas, so unimpressed by the scene that he plants his flag in the ground rather than hold it aloft, reaches his most dizzying heights. Michael Ashcroft, Nigel Cooke, Dexter Dalwood, Dee Ferris. Dan Hays, Dan Perfect, Daniel Sinsel, Tim Stoner Exploring Landscape: Eight Views From Britain January 24 - February 28, 2003 Andrea Rosen Gallery (site) 525 W. 24th Street #: 212/627.6000 By far the best show on 24th Street right now, Andrea Rosen's group show of British landscape paintings are varied, but uniformly dazzling. From oversized Cezzanne-like depictions of mountain ranges to undulating and warped pixilated images of Russian hills downloaded off the web, these paintings are an inspired look at young British painting as a whole. The landscape focus illustrates how old themes can be made new again in the right hands. Highlights include a graffiti inspired Martian landscape and classically rendered paintings based on vintage porno adorned with real antlers and fur. Jan Dibets Archive January 11th - February 8th, 2003 Barbara Gladstone Gallery (site) 515 West 24th Street #: 212/206.9300 Jan Dibets massive collection of contact sheets are a study in technique and composition. By arranging the raw negatives in a grid, Dibets takes slices of architecture and reassembles them into a new collective whole. David Salle January 11th - March 1st, 2003 Mary Boone Gallery (site) 541 W. 24th Street #: 212/752.2929 David Salle's charming canvases are broken up into sensual panels of men and women portrayed with a classical boldness reminiscent of Edward Hopper, but infused with feminine touches like orchids and roses. While the prettiness of it all might remind you of an artsy spread for Elle, on second glance the paintings seem to celebrate eroticism in the full bloom of maturity.

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posted by Japhy at 2/02/2003 09:16:00 PM || #

To Slip the Surly Bonds of Earth In May of 1961, John F. Kennedy stood before Congress and challenged America to put a man on the moon within a decade, but he warned his fellow citizens, "If we are to go only half way, or reduce our sights in the face of difficulty, in my judgment it would be better not to go at all." Yesterday, Space Shuttle Columbia exploded over the Texas sky. The oldest of the fleet, Columbia's designers thought that the shuttle would be in a museum by now when they first built it. However, in the wake of the Challenger disaster and an increasingly uninterested public, NASA has been forced to do more with less, trying to maintain Kennedy's vision of the future of mankind with a smaller and smaller budget. NASA scrapped plans for a shuttle replacement when it was deemed too costly, instead focusing on "upgrades" to an already aging fleet of spacecraft that have always been problematic at best. The astronauts who died yesterday are qualified heroes in every sense, but so are the men and women who have flown the shuttle for over two decades as well as the men currently orbiting above us in the International Space Station, but as a public, we are not impressed with the heavens so much these days, and it is only when we fall in our endeavors to reach the sky, do we take an Icarusian interest in the space program. I am certain there will be much finger pointing in the days to come, once the mourning has worn off, but I believe that ultimately, the Columbia tragedy is the fault of the American people. NASA is so underfunded that they receive notices on teletype machines and are unable to replace many of the parts they use, because the companies that manufactured them have long ago gone out of business. There is a ride in Disneyworld where the ride vehicles have more onboard computing power than the shuttle. In my lifetime, no human being has left Low Earth Orbit. My friend Daryl writes that the space program in some ways defines America, but I say it does not. It defines a spirit of enterprise, exploration and hope that we as a society, simply do not value anymore. For one brief moment in the sixties, humankind saw itself beyond the scope of this small fragile planet. NASA has tried to keep this spirit burning, but the taxpayers of America (for we are a nation of taxpayers, not citizens) have starved that flame to an ember. Mankind's destiny is to be written in the stars, not on Earth. The seven who died Saturday on board STS-107 knew this and knew the risks involved. Their deaths while tragic, must not sway us from seeking out our future beyond the blue skies of Earth. The greatest way to honor them is not not to cast our eyes to the ground but to cast them into the heavens and see ourselves in them. Write to your congressperson. Tell them that you wish to see America renew it's commitment to the space program. Tell them you want to see humanity on Mars in your lifetime and that the risks and the peril only make the challenge that much more important. Before the shuttle took off, the brother of astronaut Dave Brown asked him what would happen if something went wrong. Dave turned to his brother and said, "'This program will go on -- it has to go on." Only if we stand together and say to our government that we too believe that it has to go on, will it happen.

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posted by Japhy at 2/02/2003 02:55:00 PM || #